I sometimes entertain the idea of writing a final blog post titled “Good bye”. I think I would put my photographs from different ages in that post and stop writing altogether.
I have been experiencing a severe case of a writer’s block. It has been going on for years. I can write short articles but I freeze when I sit down to work on my book. I have been analyzing the psychology of this. I have some answers but no cure yet. In the final analysis, it could be laziness!
I have started writing articles after my father passed away in 2008. Watching my father die from cancer was one of the most painful experiences in my life. After my father died, I became very ill. I felt like I was dying. My illnesses lasted for one year and slowly tapered off in the second year. During those horrible years I felt a strong urge to write down my thoughts on physics, philosophy, metaphysics and spirituality. In 2019, writing is still important to me but I don’t feel the urgency I felt a decade ago.
My mother passed away recently. Watching her die from cancer was even more painful. I am not ready to talk about this experience yet.
An interesting fact is that my mother never knew about my writings. She grew up in rural Anatolia in the 1930’s and 40’s. Her family did not send her to school after the elementary school. She was not an intellectual. She did not read many books but she was the one who introduced me to books at an early age (photograph above).
I am not ready to talk about my mother and her influence on me yet but I feel strongly that her spirit is encouraging me to keep writing.